One thing you have to keep in mind is that “woman” does not equal “feminist”. If men were to start becoming wary of all the women around them because some of them are bat-shit crazy feminists that would make them no better than women who go around being scared of all the men around them because of the false rape and abuse statistics feminism provides.
Your awareness of toxic feminism should not influence how you judge women as far as dating is concerned. If you would like my advice take a chance and hope for the best. Nonetheless, there are a number of fairly simple tips that can overall limit your risk, so here we present to you:
PoN’s Guide to Dating in an Obnoxiously Feminist Culture!
While most of the language here is gender-neutral, the fact of the matter is that virtually all of these things are primarily risks for men, not women. Some aren’t gender-neutral because they’re effectively universally one-way. This guide is written with heterosexual relationships in mind: while homosexual relationships have their own challenges they’re much less affected by the current legal climate.
This isn’t an exhaustive guide, but rather a handy list of tips that can help you to date relatively safely even in a culture where the law’s gone completely fucking nuts and people are, in a word, stupid.
- Split the bill, even on the first date. Either that, or ask her to pay for it if she was the one who asked you out. Not only is it equitable, it also works as a first-step test: if a woman reacts badly, she’s probably not a good choice.
- Gifts and other financial support are a no-no. While these things aren’t inherently bad, they tend to attract the exact wrong kind of partner. One good test is to not worry about it, but keep a running tally as to the costs each of you incur and see how it adds up. If the totals are extremely different, that could be a problem.
- Be aware of your and your partner’s financial situation. This is the exception to the point above. If you’re a lawyer and they’re a teacher, it’s likely you’re very different in terms of disposable income. The primary test is to plan things that work for their budget, and see if they object. If not, all is well, but if it seems like they expect you to support them into the lifestyle that you’ve gone to great pains to earn for yourself, that could be a problem.
- If they are pro-life while you are pro-choice or vice-versa, this is a sign to end it. If she should become pregnant, you will be in deep shit when you can’t agree on what to do next. Considering she will have the last word, you should make sure that her beliefs coincide with yours before that happens. Get clear and affirmative commitment.
- Avoid sex after alcohol consumption on a first date, for either of you. It’s just not worth the risk of them regretting it later and blaming it on you. Or worse, claiming it was rape.
- Similarly, avoid hooking up people in clubs where once again, alcohol is present and you are more likely to do things you’ll regret later.
- Bring your own condoms. Keep a condom on your person, but change it regularly: body heat can degrade latex. Where possible, offer to buy new condoms over using someone else’s because even if theyare well-meaning, you don’t know that they’ve stored it safely. If you must, check the expiration date and overall condition, then carefully examine for any holes. Make up a story about an accidental bad experience if you must.
- Monitor birth control use where possible. A shockingly high percentage of women believe that it’s acceptable to attempt to get pregnant without their partner’s consent. If you’re a woman yourself, you can monitor your own birth control, but if you’re a man you should take steps to make sure your partner is really doing what she says she’s doing.
- Have conversations concerning sex or pleasure in a format that leaves a trail behind. It’s much harder to claim rape when there are text messages proving that you both consented.
- Pictures are your friend. Don’t be a creep, but there are a long list of people who’ve been exonerated from false allegations after a cell phone picture or two revealed that the “rape” in question was anything but.
- Know the law in all its absurdity. This goes triple if you or your partner are under age 18. We wish we could say that this is an exaggeration (and we definitely don’t endorse the site), but they’re right about the laws in question.
- When possible, find out what their relationships with past partners have been like. More than one shitstorm has been narrowly avoided by finding out from an ex that the person in question had a bad habit of “bending” the truth once their relationship started to go bad.
- Underage children are a warning sign. Not only do children present a risk unto themselves, you may well be getting a lot more than you bargained for. Know local law: in some places even moving into the home can make you liable for future care and even child support. Additionally, studies have shown that false allegations of child abuse skyrocket during separations and divorces. Even though most of these allegations are eventually proven false, that doesn’t do much to help the damage they’ve already caused.
- What is their relationship with their child/ren’s other parent? This connects to the above. Is the other parent active and involved in the child’s life? If not, why? How do they speak of the other parent, and does that mesh with what you’ve actually seen? Why are they no longer together, and what happened when they separated? Get a second perspective. Any inconsistencies are very bad news.
- This one’s important: get to know the person and their beliefs before getting involved with them. If they lack logical thinking, are sex-negative, align themselves with non-egalitarian feminism, etc….they’re probably not a good choice for you.